I just want to talk to my grandma. When I was a kid, I w…

I just want to talk to my grandma.

When I was a kid, I was lucky enough to have a lot of grandparents. My parents were divorced, and my dad’s parents were divorced too, so that meant I grew up surrounded by extra people who loved me in their own ways. My dad’s dad remarried a woman who already had children of her own, and somehow, that made our family even bigger.

Every weekend, I’d be at my grandparents’ house. My grandma and I had our little routines old cartoons on the TV, her sitting there smoking those long cigarettes, and me just talking to her about everything. I can still picture the ashtray by her chair, the soft laugh she had, and the smell of her cooking that I swear I can still taste if I close my eyes hard enough.

When my grandfather passed away, everything started falling apart. My grandma was already in poor health, and after he died, she seemed to lose her strength little by little. She started getting scammed by people who took advantage of her kindness, and eventually my dad and her other kids had to step in. They sold her house, and the last I heard, she moved in with my uncle.

That was almost ten years ago. Ten years of trying to reach her. Ten years of calling, asking, begging her kids to give me a number so I could just talk to her. But nobody will tell me anything. No updates, no photos, no messages just silence.

It breaks me. This woman raised me. She is my grandmother in every way that matters. Blood, marriage, divorce none of that ever changed how much she meant to me. So why am I being kept away from her? Why are her own kids acting like she doesn’t deserve to have her grandkids in her life?

What the hell is wrong with them? How can you just block off someone from the people who love them? This woman was full of love, warmth, and stories. She helped raise five grandkids and now she’s being hidden away for reasons I don’t even understand.

At this point, I’m Googling her name almost every day, praying I don’t find an obituary before I get the chance to hear her voice again. She was such an important part of my childhood, and I can’t just let her fade away while she’s still out there, still breathing somewhere.

Being blessed with many grandparents also means saying goodbye too many times in one lifetime. I’ve already lost so many. Now I have only a few left, and I want to appreciate them while they’re still here. But it’s almost impossible when you can’t even reach them.

I just want to talk to my grandma. I just want to know if she’s okay. I want to hear her voice, know what she’s been reading, what she’s been crafting, what she’s watching these days. I just want to talk to her again.

That’s all I want.

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