Trans and Friendships

I don’t even know where to start with this one. Maybe I just need to say it out loud to people who might actually get it.

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I’m a trans woman male-to-female and everyone who follows me on social media already knows. I’ve been trying so hard to build real friendships lately, but I think I’ve finally hit the wall.

I’ve tried connecting with other women, but most of them are deep in mom life now. They’ve got kids, partners, and zero time for “girl time.” I totally get it life happens. But it still hurts showing up for people who never really have space for me.

And making male friends? That’s even harder. I went out today with this guy who already knew I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I just wanted to hang out, laugh, maybe make a new friend. We were talking outside the arcade before going in, and he brought up something I’d posted on Facebook — something political about trans rights.

Then he hit me with it: “I didn’t know you were trans.” And followed it up with, “I don’t want to date someone like that.”

The wild part? I already told him I wasn’t trying to date. It shouldn’t have mattered at all. But in that split second, I felt this weird mix of fear and sadness like I’d been punched in the chest.

He follows me online. My posts are public. I don’t hide who I am. But that moment reminded me how exhausting it is to exist in a world that always seems to make you explain your humanity over and over again.

Being “passing” can be a blessing, sure. But sometimes it just makes everything more confusing. People treat you differently when they don’t know and then they turn cold when they do.

I always make it a point to tell people I’m trans, because I want honesty. But honestly? I’m tired. I just wanted a friend.

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