I just found out something that honestly makes my skin crawl. My boyfriend had a secret recording device hidden in my car. He’s been recording me without my consent for almost a year.

Yesterday morning, I caught him red-handed. He was sitting in the car before work, listening to the device, completely unaware that I had walked up behind him. I’d been suspicious for months, but part of me didn’t want to believe it. There were moments when I thought I was overthinking, but then I’d notice little things comments he’d make about conversations he shouldn’t have known about. Once, he even half-admitted to it after overhearing me talk to a friend about him when he wasn’t around.

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I do my therapy sessions in my car over the phone, and apparently he’s been eavesdropping on those too. He’s been listening to deeply personal conversations with my therapist, the kind of stuff that’s supposed to stay between me and a professional. When I caught him, he panicked, changed the subject, and later tried to justify everything by saying he only did it to “get to know me better.”

What kind of person thinks secretly recording their partner is how you build trust or intimacy? That’s not love. That’s obsession, control, and complete violation of privacy. When I called him out, he said he was being “smart.” I told him straight up that he’s being creepy and manipulative.

He keeps saying he’s not jealous, not possessive, not crazy. But what else can you call it when someone hides a recorder in your car and listens to your private life like it’s entertainment? I feel disgusted and violated. I can’t stop shaking when I think about all the things he must have heard the therapy sessions, private calls, even moments when I was just venting to myself in the car.

This isn’t just a betrayal of trust, it’s emotional abuse. It’s a complete invasion of privacy. I keep replaying it in my head, wondering how long he’s been pretending to be normal while doing something so twisted behind my back.

If anyone ever finds themselves in a situation like this, take it seriously. Hidden recording devices, phone spying, snooping these are red flags of a toxic relationship. Love doesn’t look like surveillance. It looks like respect, honesty, and boundaries. I don’t even know what to do next, but I know one thing for sure: I’m done with him.

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