The trans community at my college is exhausting, and I’m saying that as a trans person.

I want to get this off my chest because it feels like I’m not allowed to criticize my own community without being labeled a traitor or “internalizing hate.” But the truth is, the trans scene at my college is a mess, and it’s not because of transness. It’s because of behavior.

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I’m trans myself. I went into college hoping to find community, support, people who understood what it’s like to navigate identity, dysphoria, and existing in a world that already doesn’t give us much grace. Instead, what I found was a group of people who seem completely incapable of basic human decency.

Most of the trans people I’ve interacted with here have at least one story attached to them involving sexual harassment or some kind of misconduct. I’m not talking about misunderstandings or awkward flirting. I mean saying sexual things to me without my consent. I mean engaging in sexual activity in a shared space while another person is present and did not consent to being part of that situation. Stuff that would be unacceptable in any group, period.

There is literally one trans person at my college who is genuinely chill, respectful, and fun to be around. One. The rest have made me uncomfortable enough that I actively avoid spaces that are supposed to be “safe” or “community-oriented.”

What really gets under my skin is the hypocrisy. These same people then turn around and get angry that others don’t take us seriously, don’t support us, or make jokes at our expense. And I’m sitting there thinking… maybe don’t act like a creep? Maybe don’t cross people’s boundaries and then act shocked when others react badly?

Being trans doesn’t exempt anyone from accountability. It doesn’t magically excuse inappropriate behavior. If anything, it should make us more aware of consent, boundaries, and respect, not less.

I hate that their behavior reflects on the rest of us. I hate that when people have bad experiences with them, it reinforces stereotypes that then get applied to all trans people, including those of us who are just trying to live our lives, go to class, and not be sexualized or made uncomfortable.

I want community. I want solidarity. But I refuse to pretend that everything is fine when it isn’t. Calling out bad behavior isn’t betrayal. It’s the bare minimum if we actually want respect, safety, and support to mean something.

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