In this video, we explore how certain "normal" habits—like being fiercely independent, struggling to identify your feelings, or constantly apologizing—are actually hidden signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). If you grew up feeling like your emotions were a burden or that you had to solve everything on your own, you aren't alone. Understanding these patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your emotional life. 📘 RECOMMENDED RESOURCE FOR HEALING: If this video resonated with you, I highly recommend reading "Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect" by Dr. Jonice Webb. This book is the gold standard for identifying the "invisible" holes left by neglect and provides a practical roadmap for emotional recovery. 👉 Get the book here: https://amzn.to/4vPufgp (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting the channel!) In this video, you’ll learn: - The definition of Childhood Emotional Neglect and why it’s so hard to identify. - Why "hyper-independence" is often a trauma response rather than a strength. - The connection between childhood neglect and the constant need to over-apologize. - How the "easy child" or "the strong one" dynamic affects your adult relationships. - Practical psychological insights on how to reconnect with your emotions and build self-compassion. If you found this helpful, please subscribe to MindBasics for more deep dives into psychology and self-growth. #Psychology #ChildhoodNeglect #MentalHealth #SelfHealing #MindBasics #ChildhoodNeglect #Psychology #MentalHealth #EmotionalNeglect #TraumaRecovery #CEN #Healing #SelfAwareness #MentalWellness #ChildhoodTrauma
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I really appreciate the fact that the video mentions multiple times that this emotional neglect can happen for reasons outside of the one who neglected control. My mother had depression stemming from lifelong undiagnosed mental and physical illnesses/disorders. She neglected me, not because she didn't love me, but because she couldn't even love herself and that being an adult in this cruel world can make pretending everything is okay for your child VERY difficult.
*So many people learned to survive by becoming “small” and quiet 🥺*
14:33 immediately started crying
I had no filter as a child, so I was never silent, but in every other way, this describes me pretty well. I'm a room-reader, chameleon, always looking for ways to be useful, less of a burden. I still can't even control my own accent! It shifts constantly, adapting to the environment, or any outside stimuli. Emotions are a whole other can of worms... When I was a kid, if I was upset, physically hurt, or even straight up abused, I was made to sit on the stairs and "allowed to cry" for exactly 2 minutes (a kitchen timer set). When the timer went off, I had to immediately stop crying and go play. The waterworks had to completely shut off, or I'd get a spanking. There was no communication, i.e., "Why are you crying? What's wrong?" It didn't matter. For years, as a teen and adult, I couldn't cry at all, even when a loved one died. I just felt numb. But, after years of prayer, and healing, I'm much more able to express my emotions. I cry at commercials, memories, both happy and sad. It's so much better to be able to express myself, the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. For the most part, now, I let myself feel whatever I feel, though, sometimes, when things get too emotionally heavy, I do sort of shut down the emotions, until I'm ready to handle it. But, it definitely feels good to flex the idea that I have a right to take up space. I have the right o cry, whenever, why ever, for as long as I want.
I am an EXPERT at reading people and sensing energy. My “people skills” are really rooted in a childhood of needing to read my mother at all times to know when she was in bad moods.
It's reassuring to hear other people say that they've experienced the same things. But it's dang sad to know that there's that many of us ❗
This video hit the nail on the head. Grew up with a single teen addict parent. And all of these are what I do. Mom said I was her best friend and confidant. Took care of my siblings and the house early, started working to pay bills early. So I became an adult and independent at 8 yo. I still struggle with all of these things it’s gotten better over the years but it’s still hard
There's also a slew of physical illness aspect. Our bodies go into constant fight or flight response because we're always feeling like we're in danger. This puts our central nervous system out of whack. From a verbally abused, heavily bullied GenXer with numerous "hidden disabilities " as a result.
This is because of childhood trama. I wish for every kid to have a happy days
😮🤗 My pa suffered from schizophrenia. He did unspeakable things to me. He passed away 26 years ago. It took me until now to finally make peace with him . Cajun Scott from Louisiana 🤠🧔
I am 46 years old and I have 46 years old for the last 35 years. It’s truly exhausting to live this way.
The part about being overly independent and struggling to name feelings really hit hard. It is strange how something that felt normal growing up can shape everything in adulthood. Really eye opening video.
I like the lonely inside. It's nice and quiet in here.
I've found my perfectionism is based out of this idea that if I'd have only been better, made less mistakes, etc that my parents wouldve cared for me better
5:30 as a child growing up, believing parents are good was a fallacy. As an adult, you get to decide if they were indeed good parents. 😮😮
I admire the adaptability of the human mind, the lengths it will go to in order to protect itself. Remarkable.
It all comes out as an adult. Our mother was brutal, harsh, unforgiving. At 33 I gave it to her, all of the pain she unleashed on an innocent child. Elder sister was there as back up. Afterward, sister told me mum cried all night, saying repeatedly, what have I done? Made me feel good. Remember telling my mother to not dare touch my son. No more abuse.
"You were always so independent." No, you just refused to help me, so I figured out how to manage things on my own. Now, I live on the other side of the country.
No/Low expectations equals fewer disappointments.
My husbands mom fought a dirty battle for custody in her divorce , then neglected him just leaving him at home alone all the time, wouldnt help him with schoolwork or give any support on anything. So many stories. He had a low self esteem for a long time and became hyper independent as an adult. Thankfully eventually he and his dad really healed their relationship and he’s able to ask for help when it’s needed. He’s really succeeded now and I’m so proud of him.