I don’t even know how to start this. I’m only seventeen and…

I don’t even know how to start this. I’m only seventeen and I’ve been fighting brain cancer for almost three years now. The doctors told me recently that there’s nothing more they can do, and that I should try to make peace with it.

It’s strange because even though I know I’m dying, I don’t feel scared the way I thought I would. I’m not happy either. It’s like I’ve gone quiet inside. My mom cries almost every day, and I keep telling her not to. I hug her and say everything will be fine even though I know it won’t.

Sometimes I record my voice saying little things for my family to listen to after I’m gone. I don’t know if it will help them or make them cry more, but I just want them to remember me. I want them to hear my voice when they miss me.

I’ve always been obsessed with space. I watched Interstellar once and it completely changed how I looked at the world. The planets, the stars, the idea that time could bend and love could travel through it. I wanted to go to space one day, to see what’s out there beyond all of this pain. I guess that will never happen now, but maybe when I leave this world, I’ll finally get to see it for real. Maybe the afterlife is its own kind of galaxy.

It’s weird thinking about death when you’re this young. I used to imagine my future — college, friends, maybe falling in love — but now I just count each day and try to feel grateful that I’m still here. My dad once told me that everyone who is born will die one day, but hearing that and actually facing it are two completely different things. It hits you in a place words can’t reach.

So I’m writing this to say goodbye, but also to remind whoever reads this not to hate life. It’s short and unpredictable and so incredibly fragile, but it’s also beautiful. Even when it hurts, it’s still worth living. Laugh more, tell people you love them, forgive easily, and don’t take a single breath for granted.

If I could have one wish, it would be to see space just once. But maybe when I close my eyes for the last time, I’ll finally float among the stars I’ve always dreamed about. Until then, I’m here, hugging my mom, watching the sky, and trying to smile.

Goodbye, and please, love your life. It’s shorter than you think. 💫

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