This feels like a weight off my chest. I’m proud of my parents my mother and father I truly love them, but I’ve never been able to express it. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the way we were raised, where emotions were never really spoken out loud. I respect them deeply, I owe them everything, yet the words “I love you” always get stuck somewhere between my heart and my mouth.

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I’ve spent years trying to be progressive, to be open-minded, to think differently but deep down, I’m still a traditional, conservative Indian at heart. There’s a frightened, half-pessimistic part of me that I can’t seem to shake off. I guess that’s what growing up in a cultural mix of modern ideas and old values does to you it makes you feel like you’re walking a tightrope between two worlds.

And honestly, we all pretend sometimes. We shout about patriotism and nationalism, but it mostly comes out only during India vs. Pakistan cricket matches or emotional Bollywood movies. Once the cheers fade, the pride disappears until the next big event.

I hate social media WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram all of it. I hate how fake and draining it feels. But I still use them because it’s impossible not to. It’s like you can’t exist in today’s world without being online, without pretending to be connected while feeling more alone than ever.

Another thing that weighs on me I can’t stand seeing people drinking publicly or acting recklessly, but I’m too scared to confront them. Maybe it’s fear of conflict or just feeling helpless. I always think, what if one of these intoxicated people ends up doing something terrible? But I never say anything. I just stay quiet and hope it doesn’t happen.

Every day, the hope I used to have for a better tomorrow fades a little more. Maybe it’s the news, the corruption, the way people treat each other or maybe it’s just me getting tired. I still believe in goodness, but it’s harder to find these days.

Anyway, that’s my truth. I just needed to let it out. Maybe I’m not as modern or fearless as I wish to be, but I’m still trying still hoping that one day I’ll find the balance between love, tradition, and change.

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