I’m sitting here still trying to process what my mom just said to me because it honestly shook something old and painful inside me. I’m 26, married, and living what I thought was a safe and stable life after everything I went through as a kid.

My mom is 47 and getting married soon. Our relationship has always been complicated because she abused me when I was younger. She put me through things no child should ever experience, and a part of me has always carried that trauma in the background no matter how much healing I’ve done.

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But over the years she seemed to calm down. She tried to act normal. She tried to act like a mother. And I let myself believe that maybe she had changed enough for us to at least be on speaking terms. I even thought maybe attending her wedding could be part of some kind of closure.

Last week she invited me, and I didn’t think too much of it. Then today she dropped the kind of sentence that makes your stomach flip inside out. She said, word for word, “I want my husband to get you pregnant so I can have another child.”

She had a hysterectomy, so she can’t carry a baby. And somehow, in her mind, the solution is to involve her soon-to-be husband and my body. She said it like it was logical. Like it was normal. Like she wasn’t asking me to cross the most disturbing boundary imaginable.

The second she said it, every memory of the things she did to me as a child came flooding back. She trafficked me. She let men do things to me for money. She destroyed my sense of safety long before I even knew what safety meant. So now, even though I’m an adult and far away from that version of her, I suddenly feel terrified all over again.

A part of me keeps thinking, “This is ridiculous. I’m grown. I have a husband. I have children. I have a life she can’t control anymore.” But another part of me feels that same old fear… the voice that whispers she might try something, that her motives are never innocent, that she always finds a way to twist things. Trauma has a way of making even unrealistic fears feel real.

And now I don’t even know if it’s safe for me to go to her wedding. I don’t know how to tell my husband what she said because he’s extremely protective of me and our kids. Not in a controlling way — in a way that comes from knowing what I survived. He will lose his mind if he hears this, not at me but at her. And I don’t know what that explosion is going to turn into.

I feel stupid for being this scared but I also know my fear is coming from somewhere real. People who haven’t lived through abuse or trafficking don’t understand how deeply it rewires your instincts. Even when the danger isn’t physical anymore, the alarm bells still go off in your body. I keep telling myself I’m overreacting, but my gut is screaming that something is off and I can’t ignore that.

I honestly don’t know what to do next. I don’t know if I should cut her off completely, skip the wedding, or confront her. All I know is that her request didn’t come from a healthy place. It didn’t come from love. It felt like possession. It felt like old patterns hiding under a new mask. And I hate how quickly she can make me feel like a vulnerable kid again.

I just needed to get this out somewhere because it’s sitting like a weight on my chest. I’m confused, angry, embarrassed, scared, and trying to convince myself I’m not crazy for feeling this way. I survived what she put me through. I just don’t know how to navigate this new version of the same nightmare.

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