The Most Embarrassing Moment of My Adult Life

Okay, deep breath. I can’t believe I’m even typing this, but maybe writing it out will help me laugh instead of cry.

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I’m a 38-year-old woman working in a completely male-dominated field. Most of my coworkers are men the kind who joke around, talk sports, and think women are basically superheroes for “putting up with us.” Usually, I hold my own pretty well. Until today.

After a long day at work, I was walking out to my car when my shoe caught the edge of the curb. Before I could even process what was happening, I tumbled. Full-on barrel roll, arms flailing, phone flying, bag flying the kind of fall that would make the security camera footage go viral in a heartbeat.

I hit my elbow and knee so hard that I just lay there for a second trying to figure out what part of me hurt most. And that’s when it happened. While struggling to get up still half-dazed, on my back like a helpless turtle my bladder gave up on me. Completely.

I peed. Right there. In the parking lot. In my work clothes. Surrounded by male coworkers.

To make matters worse, I drink a ton of water throughout the day, plus I had two LaCroix before leaving the office. So yeah, it wasn’t a few drops. It was a flood. My pants were soaked. My pride was gone. My soul? Possibly ascending out of sheer embarrassment.

And because the universe loves irony, it was the exact moment everyone else was also walking to their cars. I couldn’t even make eye contact with anyone. I just stood up, muttered something like “I’m fine!” which was the biggest lie I’ve ever told and walked as fast as I could to my car. Thirty minutes home in silence, sitting in my own disaster, replaying the whole thing over and over in my head.

I’ve been through breakups, job losses, family drama but nothing humbles you quite like peeing your pants in front of your coworkers. I’m mortified beyond belief, but also… maybe I’ll laugh about it someday? Right now, though, I just want to disappear into the floor.

Moral of the story? Life has no shame filter. Sometimes you just have to accept the humiliation, clean up, and carry on because that’s adulthood.

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