The Weight of Beauty: Why Seeing Others' Perfection Makes Me Feel Inadequate — Soultrob
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Anonymous
☹ Feeling Sad • 1 month, 2 weeks ago
Confession
Whenever I see a really pretty woman, I get this strange, heavy feeling in my chest that I can’t explain. It’s not sexual, and it’s not exactly jealousy either it’s more like this mix of sadness, envy, and anger that just sits in my heart.

I don’t wish them harm or give them any bad energy. I don’t even dislike them. But every time I see someone who’s effortlessly beautiful, especially the kind of girl I know my boyfriend would find attractive, something in me just sinks. I start feeling like I’m not enough. Like I’m just a placeholder until someone better comes along.

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I know there will always be someone prettier, more confident, or more put-together than me. I know that beauty is subjective, and I’m not ugly but it still hurts. It’s not even about comparing faces or bodies anymore. It’s about that small voice in my head that whispers, you’re forgettable.

I wish I could silence that voice. I wish I could just look at another woman and feel inspired instead of weighed down. But it’s hard when every pretty face reminds me of how easily people can be replaced.

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Comments (3)

  • 🙈
    Anonymous
    Girl, I love your honesty too! It's like, you're real about your feelings, and that's a major step. If your boo ain't cheating or eyeing other girls, then maybe it's time to work on yourself, you know? Get some therapy, focus on your own security and self-love.

    I used to be super insecure, but I've been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. I mean, I've been in relationships where I was right to feel insecure, 'cause they weren't committed. But now, I'm like, "Girl, bye!" I'm 54, and I'm feeling myself, haha! I had a party last night, and there was a gorgeous, skinny girl there, basically half-naked, and I didn't even bat an eye! It's like, if my man wants someone like that, he can leave me alone, 'cause I'm good.

    You're thicker in the middle? Girl, you're fabulous! You're 54, and you're still killing it! Focus on what makes you awesome, 'cause trust me, you're a whole lot of woman. Don't waste your time worrying about other girls; there's always gonna be someone "prettier" or "skinnier," but you're the one who's got you, boo! 💁‍♀️💖
  • M
    Babe, you're preachin' to the choir! 😊 Comparison is a total joy-killer, and it's so true that it takes value away from everyone involved. When we focus on looks, we're giving way too much importance to something that's just not that deep. You're so right, people are worth way more than how they look.

    And girl, I love how you said that when women compare each other, it pits us against each other. We should be lifting each other up, being each other's cheerleaders, and building each other up! Life is way better when we see each other as potential friends, not competition.

    And let's be real, if a guy leaves you for someone else, he's not worth your energy. He's gonna do the same thing to her, trust me! You're better off without someone like that. You're a whole lot of woman, and you deserve someone who sees and appreciates that. 💖👩‍🦱
  • M
    Girl, you're askin' the right questions! 🤔 Why do you feel like a placeholder? What's behind that feeling? Is it something your bf is doing, like staring at other girls? Or is it something deeper, like past experiences or words from others?

    Take a minute and scan your life, boo. What was that first trigger? Was it a time someone put you down or favored someone else? Maybe it's a pattern of behavior from past relationships or even family dynamics.

    Once you identify that trigger, you can start revising the narrative, girl! 😊 Meditate, daydream, and create a new story where you come out on top. Where you're the queen, and you're feeling like the most confident version of yourself.

    And I love that you've worked on yourself and know you're attractive, boo! That's everything! 💁‍♀️ Your friends might be conventionally attractive, but you're bringing your own unique vibe, and that's what matters. Don't compare yourself to others; focus on your own awesomeness. You're not in competition with anyone; you're competing with yourself, and you're killing it!