I always catch myself staring at women’s bodies when I’m out, and it makes me feel awful.

I’m a woman myself, but whenever I’m at a restaurant, a party, or even just out in public, I notice that my eyes drift toward other women. Their chest, their curves, the way their body looks in an outfit. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I catch myself and feel this wave of embarrassment.

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It immediately makes me feel gross. Like I’m being creepy or disrespectful. I hate the idea that I might be making someone uncomfortable, even if they don’t notice me at all. I don’t want to objectify anyone, and I don’t want to be that person.

I don’t know if it’s admiration, comparison, attraction, insecurity, or some mix of all of it. I just know that afterward I feel guilty and confused, like there’s something wrong with me for noticing at all.

I wish I could turn my brain off sometimes and just exist in public without overanalyzing where my eyes go and what that says about me.

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