Trapped by My Past: Why Society's 'Second Chance' Rhetoric Rings Hollow for Those with a Record — Soultrob
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Anonymous
😢 Feeling Depressed • 1 month, 3 weeks ago
Confession
I am a convicted felon, and it feels like the world has decided I am not allowed to work anywhere or rebuild my life no matter how hard I try.

I caught a federal drug charge in 2021 and everything finally went through in 2022. I was twenty-something and terrified, and now at 24 I’m a single mom trying to be a responsible adult and take care of my child. I want to earn money the right way. I want stability. I want to feel normal again. I want to feel like I am allowed to try. But it feels like every door shuts the moment someone sees my past.

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I’ve paid my debt to society. I did what the court asked. I stayed out of trouble. I changed my environment and my mindset. I have nothing else on my record. Yet this one mistake follows me like a shadow I can’t outrun. Every time someone asks me to be honest during a background check, my stomach drops because I already know what’s coming. They start the conversation excited, interested, ready to hire me. Then the second I tell them the truth, everything changes. Their energy shifts. Their kindness disappears. The call ends fast and awkward and I’m left sitting there feeling like a failure all over again.

I don’t lie about it because I know better than anyone that the truth always comes out. But being honest feels like a punishment with no expiration date. It feels like society wants people with a record to magically become better but refuses to give them the chance to stand on their own feet.

Some days I feel strong and hopeful. Other days it feels like the system is pushing me back toward the same life I fought so hard to leave behind. I’m exhausted. I’m tired of apologizing for something I already paid for. I’m tired of begging for a chance to prove I’m not the same person I was years ago. And I’m tired of feeling like my child deserves a better mom than the version of me the world keeps trying to reduce me to.

I don’t want to go back to anything illegal. I would never risk my freedom or my kid’s future. I’m just tired of feeling stuck in a loop where everyone says people deserve second chances but never actually offers one.

I just want someone to look at me and see a human being trying to start over, not a mistake I made when I was young and desperate.

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