I think I might be pregnant, and if I am, I already know what I’m going to do. I’m getting an abbbortion.

I’m 23, and I took a test today but it came back inconclusive. I’ll take another one tomorrow to be sure. My partner knows how I feel and he’ll be completely on board because we’ve both agreed that we want to stay child-free.

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But even with that decision, there’s a part of me that aches a little. Deep down, I’ve always imagined what it would be like to hold a child, to feel that kind of unconditional love, to build a small family. That instinct is still there somewhere. But I also know I’m not ready. I’m not in the right mental space, I’m not emotionally stable enough, and I’m definitely not financially prepared to raise a baby. I wouldn’t be the kind of mother a child deserves. I’d be struggling, breaking down, trying to love while fighting my own chaos. That’s not fair to any child.

I know some people will say I’m being selfish, but I see it as the opposite. It’s not that I don’t want this potential life, it’s that I know bringing it into the world right now would be cruel. I’d rather make a hard choice than cause a lifetime of pain and regret.

I’m praying that I’m not pregnant, because even though I know what I’d have to do, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for it. It’s one thing to believe in choice, and another to stand face to face with it.

And to anyone who wants to preach about being “pro-life,” please understand that your anger and hate don’t feed hungry children or fix broken systems. They don’t heal anyone. If you truly care about life, pour that energy into helping the kids already here the ones starving, the ones without homes, the ones trapped in foster care. Practice what you preach.

This isn’t easy. It’s painful and it’s messy and it’s real. I just hope that someday, when I’m ready, I’ll be in a place where I can love fully without fear, without guilt, and without wondering what might have been.

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