I truly hate narcissistic people I swear, dealing with narcissistic people makes you question your own sanity. I’ve spent years trying to be patient, trying to stay calm, trying not to lose myself in the chaos, but sometimes I just can’t hold it in anymore.

The person I’m talking about is someone I’ve actually been a caregiver to my adopted mother. You’d think after everything I’ve done for her, she’d at least respect the most basic thing about me my name. But no. She refuses to call me by my chosen name, which isn’t some random nickname. It’s my legal middle name, the one I’ve preferred and used for years.

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Her reasoning? She says I only prefer that name because my late adopted dad her ex-husband was the one who gave it to me. It’s ridiculous. I don’t prefer it because of who gave it to me. I prefer it because it feels like me. But of course, in her world, everything somehow circles back to her. Every choice I make, every word I say, every little thing that makes me happy has to be about her. It’s exhausting. They’ve been divorced for over twenty years.

He’s been dead for seven. Seven years. And she’s still holding onto that bitterness like it’s oxygen. Still talking about him like the wound is fresh. Still finding ways to use her resentment against me as if calling me by my chosen name would somehow be “honoring” him, and she can’t stand the thought of that.

The level of control and pettiness is unreal. I’ve told her flat out that I don’t care if Satan himself gave me the name. It’s mine. It’s the one I identify with. And I shouldn’t have to fight this hard just to be called what I want to be called.

Every time I think about it, I get angry all over again. It’s not just the name it’s the constant disrespect, the manipulation, the emotional games narcissistic people play. They twist everything until you’re the bad guy for standing up for yourself.

I hate that this is the kind of nonsense I still have to deal with as an adult. I hate that I have to argue over something so simple. And honestly, I hate that I still care enough to get upset. But that’s what toxic family does to you.

It breaks you down piece by piece until you start doubting what’s normal. I’m done letting her make me feel guilty for existing the way I want to. I’m keeping my name, my peace, and my boundaries whether she likes it or not.

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