Living with auditory processing disorder honestly breaks me…

Living with auditory processing disorder honestly breaks me sometimes. People really don’t understand how exhausting it is to exist in a world that expects you to hear perfectly when your brain just can’t process sound like everyone else’s.

I hate how often people get annoyed when I ask them to repeat themselves. It’s like they think I’m being difficult or not paying attention, when the truth is, I literally can’t understand them.

The words reach my ears, but they don’t make sense in my head right away. And when I ask again, they sigh, roll their eyes, or worse say “never mind.” That word alone makes me feel so small.

What hurts even more is that strangers are often kinder than my own family. I can’t count how many times someone close to me has acted like I’m an inconvenience, like I’m doing this on purpose. I wish they could see how hard I try to keep up, how much I want to understand, how much I hate feeling like I’m broken.

People don’t realize that saying something again, in the exact same tone or whispering part of it, doesn’t help. It’s not about my ears it’s about my brain. I process sound differently. The world is already loud and overstimulating, and I’m trying to function in it without falling apart.

I’m tired of being treated like I’m dumb or lazy. I just need people to slow down, speak clearly, and have a little patience. I promise I’m not ignoring you. I just can’t process the noise the same way you do.

To anyone else with auditory processing disorder or partial hearing loss do you deal with this too? Do you ever feel like you’re constantly apologizing for something you can’t control?

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