I need to get something off my chest because this memory still feels surreal every time it crosses my mind. Back in 2016 I landed what I thought was a straightforward software developer job. It was just me, my laptop, and the usual grind of code, bugs, and deadlines. I never imagined I would end up being used in a way that felt so strange and honestly a little confusing.

About a year into the job I suddenly got a meeting invite from a vice president at my company. I barely knew the guy. I definitely did not know any of the other people on the invite list. Still, I showed up. I sat quietly in a corner of this long conference table, trying to understand why on earth I was even there. Then a message from the VP popped up on Teams while the meeting was going on. He literally told me exactly what he wanted me to say when he called my name. I followed the instructions like some obedient background character and afterward he pulled me aside and told me that I did great. It felt bizarre but I brushed it off.

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Then it started happening again and again. I kept getting pulled into these big client meetings where everyone else had some fancy executive title. Meanwhile I was the lowest person on the ladder, sitting there taking notes no one ever asked to see. Sometimes I had to do a quick software demo but most of the time I was just present. That was it. Present.

They flew me out to places like Dallas, New York, Orlando, even San Francisco. I was sitting in boardrooms with people who talked about million dollar real estate deals like they were discussing lunch plans. I ate dinner at a fancy restaurant in San Francisco surrounded by people who probably had more money than some entire neighborhoods. They talked about business and golf while I smiled politely and tried not to look lost.

It all felt weird until one moment suddenly made everything make sense. A client started making small talk with me and asked what I did. Before I could even open my mouth the VP answered for me. He introduced me as our lead technology strategist, someone who aligns our business priorities with our tech. I almost choked. I was a junior developer. I barely had a voice in my own team. But he delivered that lie with such confidence that the client believed every word and I sat there smiling like it was perfectly normal.

That is when it hit me. My presence in those rooms was not about my knowledge or expertise. They treated me professionally and never crossed any boundaries, but it was obvious they liked the way I looked and the way I carried myself. I was bubbly, friendly, upbeat, the type of person who naturally brightens a room. And they were using that. They wanted my soft voice and my smile in those meetings because it made clients feel more comfortable. I was like an unofficial mascot. A pretty buffer between the suits and the deals.

The strange part is that no one ever said anything inappropriate. No one made comments about my appearance. They never harassed me or treated me with disrespect. They just used my presence strategically while pretending it was all about business awareness or exposure.

In 2021 the company got acquired and my role disappeared along with the rest of the office. I moved on to a better job and a much healthier environment, but sometimes I still think about those years. I am still a programmer, still someone who loves code and problem solving. But a small part of me wonders if things would have turned out differently if I had leaned into that version of myself. Maybe I could have been good at sales. Maybe I could have been great at it.

Or maybe I was just too polite to admit that a part of my career was shaped by something as simple and as shallow as my face.

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