Lately, I’ve been feeling drained in ways I didn’t expect. I work in a skilled trade a job I actually like but the environment has been wearing me down. I joined this new workplace a few months ago, and at first, I was excited.

I thought I’d get to know my coworkers, learn new things, and maybe even make friends along the way. But instead, I’ve been surrounded by this constant, exhausting wave of open bigotry that I can’t seem to escape.

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There are about eight to ten guys I work with. Some of them are incredibly smart and talented at what they do, but outside of work talk, every conversation turns dark. It’s like their only personality trait is hating other people.

They sit around bashing immigrants, mocking Jewish people, making cruel jokes about trans and gay folks, and finding new ways to hate anyone who isn’t white. I honestly can’t believe how casual it is. They’ll say these things loudly and openly, like it’s normal, like it’s funny, like humanity isn’t even real to them.

Most days I just stand there silently, pretending to be busy, trying not to react. Inside, I’m fuming. I think about my friends people I love who are immigrants, queer, or from different backgrounds, and I feel sick knowing that if these guys met them, they’d say the same disgusting things to their faces. I’ve had to bite my tongue so many times because I can’t afford to get ostracized. I’m still learning my trade, and the job market is rough. One wrong move, one argument, and I could lose this chance to build my career.

But every time I hear their hate-filled conversations, it chips away at me a little more. I hate standing there while they talk, terrified someone will overhear and think I’m part of it. That guilt and helplessness just sit in my chest like a weight. I’ve never felt this isolated at work before like I’m surrounded by people but completely alone.

I keep telling myself this is temporary. I’m learning, I’m growing, and once I have the skills I need, I’m gone. I’ll find a place where people respect others, where basic empathy still exists, where humanity isn’t a punchline.

It’s wild to me that in 2025, people can still be so openly hateful. But maybe the scariest part is how normal it’s become for them how they don’t even realize how dark and small it makes them sound.

Sometimes I leave work, sit in my car, and just breathe for a few minutes before driving home. I try to remind myself that I’m not like them. That I’m allowed to want better. That decency still matters.

Because it does. Even when it feels like it doesn’t.

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