Girl, that's TOXIC! 😡 What he did is not okay, and it's not your fault. He's crossing boundaries and being straight-up abusive. You deserve so much better than this garbage. You deserve to feel safe, loved, and supported.

Stay strong, boo! Don't let him make you doubt yourself or your worth. You know you're worthy of love and respect. Consider reaching out to someone who can help you through this, whether it's a trusted friend, family member, or a professional. You don't have to go through this alone. 💪❤️

Babe, I'm so sorry that happened to you 😔. That's just plain messed up, and it's not okay. He has some serious issues, and you need to prioritize your safety and get away from him ASAP! Don't hesitate, sweetheart, run as fast as you can from that toxic situation.

Girl, let me tell you, THAT IS NOT NORMAL. A father's supposed to be a safe haven, not a source of fear or discomfort. What your dad's doing is not okay, and it's not your fault. You don't deserve to be treated like that, period.

It's messed up that you're dealing with this, and I'm so sorry you're going through it, sweetheart 😔. You deserve a loving, supportive parent, not someone who's supposed to care for you but is actually hurting you.

Well, maybe not technically SA, but it's definitely inappropriate. It does sound like he gets off on looking at you, and any touching is just icky. My dad did molest me, from just a few days old, nearly every day or night until I was 9.

So many things, terrible, violating, embarrassing, confusing, damaging. My Mom knew something was going on from the beginning because she had seen blood in my diaper and told my Grandma. I told her when he had hurt me really bad when I was 3, he'd shoved it in my mouth so hard that it tore my throat.

That's my 1st memory. I remember we left him but after maybe like 2 weeks away, we were right back there. He was paranoid schizophrenic and would walk through the house at night with his baseball bat, he'd nail our windows shut and act all stupid.

What gets me is that he constantly thought someone was trying to kill him, but he didn't give a shit when he was rubbing his cock on my 4 or 5 year old vagina. Too bad his psychosis wasn't of some big bikers stomping his head in for touching me. And how my Mom never ever came in to stop him makes me feel sick.

I know it got loud sometimes because he would perform oral until I was in tears and pushing him away as hard as I could.... Once, she actually had the nerve to say to me "I knew he was touching you, but I didn't know he was fucking you", like that mattered AT ALL!!! 🤬 Even my doctor knew what was happening because I was getting sores, completely gaulded, like a rash so bad it was more like a 2nd and 3rd degree burn probably from his mustache and his slobber/spit. It hurt so much when I went potty, I remember screaming. The medicine hurt, too. It never stopped him. If I said no, he would cry and act crazy, or worse, he would threaten to hurt my brother and my mom.

Sometimes he WOULD go to my brother's room. Mom said the police told her that it was a personal thing, or a family matter....it was the early to mid 80's then. I'm so glad he's dead now, but I am almost 100% sure he did it to at least some of my younger siblings from his 2nd (or 3rd?) wife. Idk, just somehow I had a "knowing" one day and it gave me chills.

Honey this is sexual abuse. You know because of how his touching or slapping your ass makes you feel. Your mother should be protecting you but she’s not quite capable it seems.

So please report this to a nurse or teacher at your school. You shouldnt have to experience this. Or if you can talk to a therapist because this kind of behavior from you father should be reported. I’m so sorry.

That's disgusting and highly inappropriate behaviour. There is signs of long term abuse that would be classed as trauma.

Be sure to privately contact private counselling support lines where you can safely express your concerns in privacy without his awareness or influence. You also need to find and start seeing a therapist eg psychologist and or counsellor.

What you have described is unequivocally abuse a deeply harmful combination of both sexual violation and physical violence. Your feelings of confusion, anger, and disgust are completely valid and understandable reactions to the betrayal and trauma you endured.

It's also clear that you are carrying a significant amount of unresolved trauma from these experiences. As a survivor of sexual assault myself, from the ages of 8 to 16, I know how heavy that burden can be. From one survivor to another, I gently but strongly encourage you to begin seeking support.

You do not have to walk this path alone. Here are a few steps that can be powerful for healing:

1. Find a Trusted Confidant: Begin by identifying someone in your life you feel safe with a close friend, a mentor, or a family member who has proven they are supportive. Breaking the silence and sharing your story with someone who believes you can be an incredibly liberating first step in processing your trauma.
2. Explore Professional Support: I cannot overstate the value of speaking with a trauma-informed therapist. Modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are exceptionally effective for survivors. CBT can help you untangle the complex web of thoughts, memories, and emotions you're experiencing. It provides practical tools and coping strategies to manage the intense waves of anxiety, fear, and anger that are common with Complex-PTSD (C-PTSD).
3. Begin Journaling: If speaking feels too daunting right now, consider keeping a private journal. Writing down your feelings can be a powerful form of emotional release. It’s a safe space to vent, process, and validate your own experience without judgment, helping you to process trauma at your own pace.

I know that speaking out is terrifying. The fear is real, but so is the potential for healing on the other side. Taking these steps toward support is not a sign of weakness; it is a profound act of courage and self-care. You deserve to reclaim your life and find a sense of peace and safety.

Let's be perfectly clear: what you have endured is a profound violation on multiple levels. The physical punishment with a belt is a relic from a different time, a practice now widely recognized as physical abuse, not discipline. More disturbingly, your father's actions reveal a deeply troubling pattern.

Forcing a developing daughter to undress in front of him is a gross and indefensible violation of boundaries. His later behavior shaming you for how you dress in the safety of your own home confirms his intentions.

This shaming tactic reveals that he views nudity and your body through a sexualized lens, which in turn exposes the sexually abusive characteristics of his prior actions. I am so incredibly sorry you were subjected to this betrayal.

You are right to feel that this is more than just "punishment." This man may tell himself he is teaching you a lesson, but in reality, he is employing a toxic combination of the three abuse types others have identified: physical, sexual, and emotional or psychological abuse.

Your Empowerment and Path to Safety

You are now 18, which legally makes you an adult. This is a critical juncture, and your safety is the absolute priority. Given that the abuse is ongoing and you feel trapped, you need a concrete exit strategy.

Your school can be a powerful ally. I strongly urge you to reach out to a trusted educator, school counselor, or administrator. All certified school staff are mandated reporters by law. This means they are legally required to report suspected abuse to the proper authorities, providing you with a crucial layer of state oversight and protection. They can also connect you with immediate crisis resources and support services.

Your timeline is urgent. He has shown he will not stop. Your goal is to secure a safe living environment. This could mean:

· Identifying a temporary safe haven with a trusted friend or family member.
· Inquiring about emergency housing resources through your school counselor or local support organizations for survivors of domestic abuse.

My heart aches knowing you are going through this. No one should ever have to experience the betrayal and fear you have described. Please know that your feelings are valid, this is not your fault, and there are pathways to safety and healing. You have the right to reclaim your life and your peace.

I’m so incredibly disappointed and angry at your mother and family for not intervening & keeping that PREDATOR in your life. Absolutely not normal in any at all, AT ALL.

Family should never be touching you or any children like this at all. It’s not normal and it’s violating, the normalized behavior he’s doing is how children and people become groomed to believe it’s okay or that they’re overthinking their own discomfort. And what the hell was he, GROWN ADULT MAN, thinking when telling you, A CHILD, that he’s YOUR BOYFRIEND!?! Let alone jealous around a child??!

That’s pedophilic & incestuous as hell! I know you probably don’t see your mother as part of the problem but her absolute lack of action in getting rid of this man/stop seeing him is completely part of the problem. Why would he stop when she doesn’t seem to care enough abt how dangerous his behavior is around children? Why would he care to stop when she still keeps him around even after his blatant displays of humiliating violence over extremely small things? And all his apparent “punishments” always having to include an obvious excuse to see you in your most intimate and vulnerable state? That’s not normal at all. You have been conditioned to believe it is but you’ve been abused. As scary as this sounds, you need to leave asap because what is truly stopping him from finally doing what he’s been clearly building up to?? And do you actually believe your mother would believe or stand up for you in such an event when she’s failed in the most basic forms to protect you?? Anytime someone touches you in any inappropriate way that makes you uncomfortable, especially when you’ve made it very clear you do not like it at all is a form sexual abuse.

Just because it’s not on the typically “extreme” side of the scale does not make it any less valid or harmful. Simply put, regardless of even if someone touches your shoulder & it’s making you uncomfortable, you have a right to bodily autonomy to feel safe in your own skin as it’s the same body that will be your home for the rest of your life.

Seek help, be relentless in calling as many possible resources as you can and ask as many questions as possible about alternatives/other options if some can’t help. If you have trustworthy friends, reach out and find safe community. And MOST IMPORTANTLY educate yourself on red flags of predatory/abusive behavior, what it can look like + it’s many diff forms.

Learn about what healthy behaviors & boundries are, what they look like, learn how to apply & reinforce them even when other oppose them because trust that someone will.

I’m so so sorry and can’t even imagine how hard it must be to have grown up like that and still be around it … what a terrible human being. He absolutely abused you and I can’t believe your mom is still with someone like that. I am a mother and would have been gone after the toothpaste incident - or he probably would have been “gone”. Im so mad for you and i hope you can get away from him quickly- and in the meantime keep standing your ground and focusing on wrestling, and id HIGHLY suggest starting therapy. It will help you so much as navigating early adulthood is already hard but with a parent like this it will impact your choice of partners, keep you from not knowing how to set boundaries, and could possibly even cause depression and anxiety if it hasn’t already.

I can't believe that your mother just stood there and watched while he beat you with a belt because you squeezed a little too much toothpaste out of the tube because he was trying to rush you.

I'm trying to figure out why your mom just didn't take you and pack up and leave. What he did to you was Sa. More than likely He's probably done this to other family members.