Our Elf on the Shelf is gone forever and I feel nothing but relief. Last year my oldest, who was nine at the time, had a friend over and decided he was done believing in anything magical.

He touched the elf, tossed it on the floor, and even strapped it to our robot vacuum with electrical tape like he was conducting a science experiment. My youngest watched the whole thing with wide eyes and then burst out laughing, and that moment felt like a tiny miracle. I thought the chaos was finally over. I quietly took the elf away and felt this strange freedom settle over me.

This December rolled around and my youngest asked if the elf was coming back. I told her no, and I even joked that her brother probably killed him forever. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel that holiday panic or the guilt or the pressure to create some nightly magical experience. I just felt peace. The kind of peace parents rarely get during the holiday season.

People have strong opinions about this little fabric creature, but honestly, our home was happier without the constant stress of remembering to move it. We still had a beautiful holiday. We went to Christmas festivals and school programs. The kids were in a holiday play. We baked cookies and did all the things that create real memories. Not once did any of us miss the elf or the performative magic that comes with it. And I realized how much anxiety I had been carrying around all those years. The elf had become another expectation, another responsibility, another place where I felt like I would fail if I forgot.

If the elf works for other families, I truly mean it when I say that is great. Some people make it part of their tradition and find real joy in it. But for parents who are tired, overwhelmed, stretched thin, or barely holding themselves together during the holidays, it is okay to let it go. You are not ruining anything. Kids remember the love, the laughter, the time spent together. They remember the warmth of being seen and the comfort of a parent who is not exhausted to the point of breaking. The holiday magic comes from connection, not from a toy that requires nightly creativity.

Letting our elf go felt like reclaiming a little bit of my sanity. I know it sounds dramatic, but it lifted a weight I did not realize had been sitting on my chest for years. Our holiday felt lighter, calmer, more real. And I honestly wish more parents knew they have permission to choose peace over pressure.