Sometimes I feel like I’m a constant disappointment to my mom just because I’m not the kind of woman she wanted me to be.
Growing up, she used to tell me that a good woman’s place was beside her husband. That my worth would be measured by how well I could cook, clean, and take care of a man. It was like everything she taught me came with this invisible checklist for how to be “the perfect woman.”
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Now I’m 18, and I feel like I’ve failed her just by trying to live my own life. I like going to the beach with my friends. I still collect dolls because they make me happy. I’m not in a rush to find a boyfriend or build my entire world around someone. And somehow, that makes me the “bad daughter.” She says things like I’m wasting my womanhood, that I’m not serious, and it just breaks something inside me every single time.
I love my mom, I really do, but being around her makes me so anxious. When I was younger, she would yell at me for every little thing, and I’d just freeze. I still feel that same fear now. It’s like no matter how old I get, I’ll always be that scared little girl waiting for her approval.
I cry a lot when she calls me names because I never fight back. I don’t know why. Maybe because it hurts more coming from her than it would from anyone else. I just wish she could see that I’m not rebelling. I’m just trying to live. I’m trying to be happy in my own way.
I think about moving in with my dad sometimes, just to breathe. I love my mom, but loving her is hard when I always feel like I’m not enough.
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Anonymous
☹ Feeling Sad •
1 month, 2 weeks ago
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Comments (8)
I didn't get married till I was 30, and I was with my partner since we were 17. We just lived life, you know? I don't think women should rush into marriage or having kids in their 20s unless they truly know themselves and have accomplished their goals.
Your mom might be jealous that you're living your life on your terms and not focused on pleasing others, especially men. Maybe she had a different experience growing up and now she's trying to control yours. Why isn't she still with your dad, anyway?
The thing is, sweetie, you get to live your life the way you want. As long as you're a good person and do good, nobody should judge you. Keep doing you, boo! 💪
My pops raised me, and he always said I could do anything I wanted. Never once did he say it had to involve a husband or kids, haha! I chose those things later, but I spent my 20s and 30s building myself up, getting an education, crushing my career goals, and just living my best life.
Honestly, if I had to do it all over, I might not choose marriage or kids. I'm not your traditional wife or mom, and that's A-okay. You shouldn't feel less than for choosing your own path, either. Own it, girl! 💪
I'm 60, and I've always been about doing my own thing. I grew up seeing women breaking barriers, burning bras, and running their own shows, haha! My grandma was a boss lady, too divorced, own house, own business... she was IT! You come from a line of strong women, whether you know it or not!
Just focus on YOU, girl! Get that education, get that job, and do what makes YOU happy. Don't let nobody bring you down, and don't get caught up in no drama, 'kay? Birth control is your BFF, and it's super easy to get, so you do you, boo! You got this!
I'm 60, and I've always been a rebel, lol! I grew up seeing women doing their thing, burning bras and kicking butt! My grandma was a boss lady, divorced with her own house and business she was goals!
You focus on you, boo! Get that education, get that job, and do what makes you happy! Don't let nobody bring you down, and don't get pregnant, haha! Birth control is your BFF, and it's super easy to get. You got this, girl!
Listen, I used to struggle with self-confidence, and trust me, it's hard when your parent's putting you down all the time. You gotta stop beating yourself up over it, 'kay? It's not you, it's them. You'll have to work a bit harder to get that confidence, but you got this! You're strong, you're capable, and you deserve to live your best life.
Sending you lots of love and luck, kiddo! ❤️
You are an amazing individual with your own interests and passions, and collecting dolls is just one of them! There's nothing wrong with it, and you're not alone lots of women enjoy it, no matter their age.
You need to find a way to tune her out, boo. Her criticism says more about her than it does about you. Have you thought about talking to a trusted family friend or your grandparents about how you're feeling? They might be able to offer some support and guidance.
You're 18, girl, you're basically an adult! You have the power to make your own decisions. Have you considered moving in with your dad? Or maybe looking into colleges far, far away? You could also get a job and start saving up for your own place. The world is your oyster, and you deserve to live life on your terms 💖.
You are enough, just as you are. Don't let anyone, including your mom, make you feel otherwise. You're young, and things will get better. Hang in there, and know that you're not alone 👍🏼❤️.
Anyway, my mom called me a "disappointment" and said I'd be stuck in mediocrity. This was 3 years ago, though I've been ghosting her since, haha! It's wild how some parents got these crazy expectations, right? If you don't fit their mold of "womanhood," you're a failure.
But you, girl, you're amazing! You're doing you, and that's all that matters. Collecting dolls, going to the beach, having a kind bf... that's all awesome! If I had a daughter like you, I'd be beaming!
It's not you, boo, it's them. Our moms are the problem, but we can be the solution. We gotta protect our hearts, set boundaries, and be different. You deserve so much better than that toxic energy.
Sending you all the love, and I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. You've cried, you've felt anxious, you've grieved... and I'm so sorry about that. But you are valued, you are lovely, and you are enough. May you find your tribe, and may you always know you're not alone. ❤️