I feel so emotionally drained right now because I finally pushed myself to go on a first date after six long years and I honestly regret everything about it. I got out of a five year relationship earlier this year and I spent Halloween feeling lonely and bored, so I decided to download Hinge for the first time. I genuinely thought nothing would happen because I have been out of the dating world for so long, but within a single day I somehow had over a hundred likes. It was overwhelming and honestly kind of confusing. A few guys even asked me out within forty eight hours which felt shocking for someone who has not dated in years.

Since you loved this post, you might enjoy these too:
• Dumped on my 24th Birthday: The Cruel Timing of Heartbreak
• When Scars Still Sting: Breaking the Cycle of Self-Doubt and Finding the Courage to Try Again
• LIVING FOR OTHERS IS KILLING ME: The Crushing Weight of Guilt, Obligation, and the Desperate Need to Find Myself
• When Compassion for Mental Health Matches Productivity Tips in Popularity


There was one guy who stood out because he was attractive and he lived in my town instead of forty minutes away like most of the others. We had a decent text conversation on Friday and Saturday, so when he asked me out I figured I should try. I wanted to practice talking to people again and had very low expectations, so I said yes.

He insisted on picking me up which made me uncomfortable. I kept saying I would drive myself because that just feels safer, especially with a stranger. He kept insisting that a true gentleman picks the woman up and honestly that should have been my first red flag. I stood my ground and eventually he agreed to meet at the restaurant.

When I showed up a few hours ago I was nervous but trying to be open minded. He looked just like his photos and he was friendly but almost too much. He even pushed my chair in and had already ordered drinks for us before I arrived. I had not planned on drinking but since he already ordered them I felt awkward rejecting it.

We started talking about what we are looking for, our jobs, our views on relationships, and he got very vulnerable very quickly. He said he genuinely wants love and claimed he felt something different with me compared to the other women he met. It was a lot to hear on a first date and I was trying to stay calm but I felt myself slipping into skepticism.

We talked for about an hour. He ordered another drink plus two appetizers and an entree. I only ordered one entree. He kept trying to pressure me into a second drink and even ordered it without asking. I refused it, so he ended up drinking it himself. Then he suddenly said he needed to use the bathroom because of how much he drank.

The instant he walked away I felt something in my stomach drop. Something just felt off.

Five minutes passed. Then ten. Then the waitress came to check on us. That is when the embarrassment hit so hard I started tearing up. I quietly told her this was a first date and that I think the guy walked out. I explained that I only ordered my entree. She looked genuinely sympathetic and said she would get the manager.

When the manager came I gave them the guy’s name and photo. They were actually really kind and said they would split the bill so I would only pay for what I personally ordered. By then he had been gone for fifteen minutes. It was obvious he left me with the check on purpose after ordering drinks and appetizers I never agreed to.

I cannot even explain the mixture of humiliation, confusion, anger, and heartbreak I felt in that moment. Dating already makes people anxious and vulnerable and this man used that to pull the classic dine and dash trick. I know people complain about modern dating and online apps, but I genuinely did not expect to be treated this disrespectfully or manipulated in such a degrading way.

Right now I feel like I never want to go on a first date again, especially from an app. This whole experience made me feel stupid for trying, stupid for trusting, and stupid for hoping. What the actual hell is wrong with people.

Posts you may like too:
• Dumped on my 24th Birthday: The Cruel Timing of Heartbreak
• When Scars Still Sting: Breaking the Cycle of Self-Doubt and Finding the Courage to Try Again
• LIVING FOR OTHERS IS KILLING ME: The Crushing Weight of Guilt, Obligation, and the Desperate Need to Find Myself
• When Compassion for Mental Health Matches Productivity Tips in Popularity
• From Stuck to Step Forward: Breaking Through Mental Health Stigma, One Small Win at a Time
• Dying at 17: My Cosmic Farewell and a Message to Live
• When Life Feels Like a Heavy Weight: The Brutal Truth About Slowing Down and Embracing Imperfection
• Why I'm Afraid to Try Again: The Messy Reality of Self-Care
• Trapped in a Day of Endless Struggle: When Simple Tasks Feel Like Mount Everest
• When Feeling Overwhelmed Takes Over: The Unseen Struggle of Everyday Tasks