I stole a tuxedo from Men’s Wearhouse by never returning it, and honestly, I don’t regret it.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to be a groomsman in a close friend’s wedding. All of us went together to our local Men’s Wearhouse to get fitted. The groom picked a navy blue tuxedo. Clean, sharp, nothing wild. The problem was I didn’t own a suit that color, and I figured this was a good excuse to finally buy one instead of throwing money away on a rental I’d wear once.

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So I asked the associate if I could just purchase the tux outright. He told me no. Rental only. Around $200 for one night.

That didn’t sit right with me at all.

I asked if I could pay for the rental in cash. He said yes. So I walked down to the ATM, pulled out the money, came back, paid in full, and gave them all my real contact information. Name, phone number, everything. No fake details. No sneaking around.

I picked up the tux, wore it to the wedding, looked great, and then… I never brought it back.

They sent me two text messages reminding me to return the rental. I ignored both. That was it. No phone calls. No emails. No letters. Nothing dramatic. According to the rental agreement, the punishment for a late return is just a late fee. There was nothing about police, collections, or legal action. Worst case scenario in my head was I’d be banned from renting tuxedos there again, which I honestly didn’t care about.

Some of the other groomsmen were stressed out for me. They kept telling me it was a bad idea, that I’d get charged or chased down. But nothing ever happened. And from my perspective, I paid $200 in cash and walked out with a tuxedo. In my mind, that’s a purchase, not a theft. Maybe that’s mental gymnastics, but it’s how I see it.

I still have the tux. It still fits. I’ve worn it more than once since then. And if I’m being completely honest, I don’t feel guilty about it at all.

I know it’s technically stealing. I know how it sounds. But I also know I paid full price for something they refused to let me buy outright. So yeah. I guess this is one of those confessions where I’m aware it’s wrong on paper, but it doesn’t keep me up at night.

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