The Worst Date I’ve Ever Been On

As a woman trying to date these days, I just need to vent. Because honestly, the dating pool feels like it’s filled with landmines.

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I went on a date last Sunday and it was a disaster from start to finish. The guy showed up high because he was nervous he literally took an edible before meeting me. I don’t care if someone smokes or does edibles in general, but maybe show up sober for a first date? First impressions matter.

From the moment we sat down, he wouldn’t stop talking about his cat who died in the spring. I get grief. I love animals, I understand loss, but this wasn’t a heartfelt story it was a nonstop monologue. Every time I tried to share something about myself, he’d interrupt and spin it back to him or his cat. The energy was chaotic, and his twitchy, erratic mannerisms made me deeply uncomfortable.

Then came the part that honestly scared me. He told me he was an anesthesiologist I’m a doctor too, so naturally I asked a few questions. Only after my second drink did he admit that he never actually finished his residency.

Turns out he was kicked out because of multiple allegations of sexual assault and harassment from women in his program. He said it so casually, like it was some minor misunderstanding. My entire body froze.

I quietly placed my hand over my glass after that. My brain went straight into self-protection mode — because how do you even respond to something like that? I just told him it was getting late, thanked him, and left as calmly as I could. Then he started sending me angry, abusive messages later that night because I didn’t “give him a real chance.”

I’m still shaking thinking about it. I’m so, so glad I never gave him my address or let him pick me up.

This is what women deal with. This is what dating can feel like walking into situations that could turn dangerous at any moment. The constant need to protect yourself, to read between the lines, to manage someone’s emotions just to stay safe.

To any men reading this: please understand that this is the reality for so many of us. The emotional exhaustion, the fear, the endless bad first dates with men who don’t see us as people. It’s not just frustrating it’s terrifying.

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