In this video, I discuss a technique I've been thinking about that can help people assess whether or not to end a relationship. Time Stamps: 0:00 Intro to topic 3:09 Describe your relationship 8:29 Practice scenario 1 10:57 Practice scenario 2 Link to my merchandise: https://teespring.com/stores/anas-bazaar The thoughts expressed in this video are my own personal opinion and do not reflect the opinion of any institution I am involved with. The contents of this video are for educational and entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to substitute seeking professional therapy. Please like and subscribe for more real-world applications to psychology! :)
ADVERTISEMENT
The hardest thing to figure out is when you’re in a healthy relationship with a kind person, but you’re thinking of ending it because you might not be compatible enough. Update: We did break up last year but I’m doing well now. It was for the best
I was in this position before. The best advice I was ever given was “just because they aren’t treating you badly or doing the wrong things doesn’t mean they’re giving you what you need or doing the right things” - often it’s a compatibility issue. Dont just let a relationship drag on out of guilt or just because they’re good people. Being a good person doesn’t mean being good for you or being the right person.
All couples don’t necessarily fight, but there are naturally going to be disagreements. The way you handle these disagreements are crucial to the health of the relationship.
It’s hard to tell if you should leave or not if you were emotionally neglected in childhood and this is the first time your experiences consistent, non-judgemental love from somebody.
When you compromise your boundaries over and over again...it just hurts. You're left bleeding out and the worst part is that the partner doesn't even understand. The sad part is I saw it objectively at the beginning but bc of my own childhood baggage, I hoped things would get better. I'm learning to forgive myself and break up.
I am in such a dark place and I'm having a really bad time with my relationship. Thank you for this video.
Knowing you are settling feels like shit. Especially when it’s followed by feelings of fear of being alone and “never finding someone”
1: How did you meet? 2: How long did the honeymoon phase last? 3: What issues arose after the honeymoon phase ended? 4: What mistakes have you made in the relationship? 5: How do your arguments look? 6: Do your issues get resolved? 7: Have you ever reached the level of dealbreaker? 8: Deep down, do you think you were settling?
I really needed this advice today. My three year relationship still feels like it’s in the honeymoon faze. Everything was perfect to me until a few weeks ago when I learned that a huge boundary of mine had been crossed and I had been lied to about behavior my boyfriend has been engaging in - behavior that does not display loyalty or respect for me. I feel like I’m putting all the emotional labor and effort into repairing the damage and he just wants to forget. The relationship felt so perfect and learning what he did seems like it’s impossible for my boyfriend to have done those things, which makes me feel like I’ve been manipulated. I have been turning my reflections more to myself and less to him and realizing what red flags I missed and what behaviors I rationalized early on. It’s a hard and sobering journey.
Leaving your partner is a daunting task. I am here to tell you that it will be ok and you will get through it. I recently did.
Still feel so lost and so unsure, I am the villain in my relationship and am doing the constant leaving and showing my partner that I’m unsure. My partner is so wonderful and is such an amazing human being but I just for some reason have a level of uncertainty and I don’t know why. Thank you for this video
we fought about sex. for 38 years. he cheated since day one. I never did. I'm free now, so happy I cry.
7:48 "Couples that have broken up multiple times rarely ever make it in the long run." So now we know what the fate is for Ross and Rachel's relationship....
I've recently read this, and hope it helps someone out there: "It is not about making a nice couple, but about making a tremendous team.". That hit me truly hard.
Most people get together of circumstances And mistake it for being in love . That’s why it’s good to work on yourself have self love have self worth and not settle based on your circumstances or based off he /she loves me and I don’t wanna be alone I don’t think I’ll find anyone that will love me like she/he would etc.
My favorite breakup line — “you’re great, I’m great, but I don’t know if we’re great together long term.”
how do i send this to him without sending this to him
After watching this and looking at my own relationship objectively, I realize that I have been self sabotaging, I'm the one that came into our relationship already w trust issues, and our relationship is actually really strong. It's making me cry bc I think for me it's really hard to see past the emotion but when I look at only the facts, omg it's like I've made up arguments all on my own. I'm the root cause or something. Lol how frustrating that must be for my counselor 😂 but this video was eye opening.
I am single, but I'm gonna watch this anyway because it's Ana.
The whole beginning of my relationship is a red flag, yet I'm still wishing for a happy ending.