When you’re finally in a Healthy Relationship

The shock, when someone is sane.

Also it's refreshing to see a guy create a video online that's honest to God not disrespecting women. I like this.

My girlfriend gets all giddy when I make the bed or cook dinner. WTF. This is base level easy stuff. lol

My husband and I do what I call "chore swapping". We made a list of everything that has to get done around the house, and then we each took that list and rated each task from 1 to 5. One means you don't mind doing it, and 5 means you hate doing it. We then compared our lists to each other. It was shocking how many things I hated to do that he didn't mind at all. Same with my list. There were a ton of things on my list I didn't mind doing that he hated. So I took on all the things he hates and he took in all the things I hated to do. Then we just split the other tasks between us equally. It has worked out great. Neither of us feels like we have to do the "shitty jobs" around the house, and now everything gets done. We don't have to worry anymore about who does what, and we feel more united because we are helping each other enjoy our time doing chores. That's a win-win in my book.

That “I really don’t wanna fight” reflex is so real lol

I’m 50 an no man has ever responded to me like that. Either they are insulted, become defensive, or have a tantrum like a child. Men need to call out other men when they act like jerks. Thank you. ❤

Yeah I keep crying because my gf treats me so freaking well. I have a lot of trauma to sift through and she’s so patient and loving, makes me so happy Edit: wasn’t the best relationship, ended just about a year ago. Learned a lot about myself. Still learning. Thanks for showing the support, meant a lot on this random night. To those scored to try because you’re traumatized, you can treat yourself better. You don’t need anyone else to do it. I’ve cried because I was nice to myself or have myself a break. Start your journey alone if you must. aim to form healthy relationships. You can’t learn how to be vulnerable by not being vulnerable, or by not being social, or by *not*.

The "Cuz I love you? And I trust you?" is so spot on

I started crying the first time my boyfriend did this. He held me for like three minutes while I cried on his shoulder, literally.

When you are emotionally abused by people this is what happens when you meet a genuine person and have a healthy relationship. Please god, I want to have a healthy relationship where I can have a normal discussion without anyone shouting at me. 🙏

"Is this a trick?" My brain every time someone treats me with respect and kindness. 😂

At almost 66 I’m finally in a healthy relationship where my lovely man treats me this way. The joy of being respected and truly loved is sometimes overwhelming! Thank God. It’s never too late to find happiness!!

Dude… i had the EXACT same conversation with myself wearing a wig last week.

Yes, in the culture I live in, apologies and promises to try to do better are a sign of strength. Children make excuses or arguments, adults apologize.

What would this actually be like? I have no idea. I never experienced this in 28 years of marriage. Finally free and on a healing journey.

I tried really hard to keep myself from actively destroying the first healthy relationship I had for the first year of our now 5 year and going relationship. I even tried to bomb the relationship before it started with the disclaimer: "I am not an easy person." Turns out I wasn't difficult or nasty, or a prude or vindictive or whiny or petty or a bitch at all. But it took us a little while for me to get that. Now I am supportive, funny, helpful, kind, powerful and sweet. I wanted to be all that, because I didn't need to fight for my spot in the relationship and it is so much more fun like that ❤

This is exactly what happened when I first met my husband. He communicated just like this and I was blown away. I had to talk to my therapist about it and the resulting fear that I would do something awful to ruin the relationship somehow and I REALLY didn't want to do that! She helped me navigate this sudden golden person and our connection and now we've been married over 30 years. He's still the same kind, empathetic and genuine man I met so long ago now, only better because we have taught each other about ourselves and our needs so we can be better for each other. I feel like I'm closing in on the person I was always wishing I could be... All thanks to his respect, love and friendship.

My boyfriend is like this and it's very new to me. So new that I have to remind myself to actually express myself instead of "protecting" his feelings.

The time I finally realized I had healthy friendships at last: I dropped something and made a mess and ran to clean it up, apologizing and they all told me it was ok and started HELPING ME CLEAN IT UP. One of them took me by the shoulders and said, “It’s ok. No one is mad at you.” I actually had like a brain short circuit.

I LOVE THIS. I remember having a very similar conversation with an ex after our first “almost” blow up. He came to me and was very upset about something I did or didn’t do (I can’t remember it was so long ago) and I didn’t match his energy and told him “you’re right, I can see why that would bother you. I’m going to make sure I pay more attention to that because I don’t want you feeling this way”. He looked so flabbergasted and with the same angry energy told me, “so we’re not going to argue about this?!” And with the same calm energy I told him “no, why would we? You’re absolutely right and even though I don’t view it in the same way doesn’t take away the important fact that you view it as a form of disrespect or your needs not being met. I love you and always want you to feel safe to tell me these things and know that we can compromise and do what’s best for the both of us”. He sat down and after calming himself he told me that for the first time in his life he didn’t have to argue his point and he didn’t know what to do 😅 poor guy came from a very abusive home and dated very unstable women before me. I’m not perfect at all but emotional maturity is very important in all relationships. I can’t wait to find my husband who has the same ability to emotionally regulate himself and has a healthy way of interacting with others.