our conception of love is messed up.

my dad had a saying: “love is 10% about finding the right partner, 90% about BEING the right partner.”

Love is not the butterflies you feel in your tummy, It is the decision to stay with that person after the butterflies are gone.

"People watch a 15 seconds clip online and suddenly everyone's got a psychology degree" You should put that on a golden plate

"If soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and then they get to work building a relationship."

I think red flags got popularized because everyone is in such a hurry nowadays that they want to "be happy while skipping as many bad/painful steps" as possible and so we want a "ruleset" to follow in order to protect ourselves from said painful steps

"A good relationship shouldnt be 50/50, it should be 60/40 and both parties should want to be the one giving 60." I like this thought.

I’m part of gen z and this is the FIRST TIME someone has ever mentioned how wrong these things sound and explained it so well!

The most important lesson I've ever learned about this subject, put most simply: LOVE AND ROMANCE ARE NOT SYNONYMOUS.

the term 'red flag' is definitely being misused, but i always thought red flags were originally supposed to indicate possible future abuse, not that a person might have traits you can't stand.

I hate tiktok for popularizing “self-love” as being ignorant and not properly communicating with your partner. People really do think they are professional psychologists after watching a 15 second video from a stranger.

Finally, someone telling me what is love instead of responding with,”Baby don’t hurt me.”

from a male perspective, it’s terrifying what women are being told because all i want is someone who reciprocates my effort and cares about me for who i am, instead of someone who just only loves me for what i give them

“If he wanted to, he would” is so messed up. Tell your partner what you want. Don’t assume that they already know. Your partner will be receptive to your words and wants and thoughts. If you’re with the right person, they won’t make you feel guilty for telling them what you want. My fiancé is wonderful. We’ve been together for 2 years as of tomorrow. At the beginning, I figured he would know how to make me feel loved. He did, a little, but our relationship grew so much stronger after I *told him what I wanted from him*. He felt able to do the same with me, and we’re both happier for it. He’s my best friend in the world, I’m in bed next to him right now, and all of this is possible only because we communicated.

Another thought I had: a lot of people posting about love these days are EXTREMELY young, like 15, 16, etc who are in relationships. Unfortunately, immature love is often a commodity. For example: you learn about the concept of a "crush" in elementary school, and then pick the "best" member of the opposite sex in your class to develop artificial feelings for and even "date." It's about getting that person to like you back, not necessarily sharing a deep emotional intimacy - it is a material conquest. It is a part of growing up, but with the development of social media, young people are displaying this type of affection as real. Young teens describe dramatic love triangles to their impressionable audience which normalizes this one-dimensional perception of what it is to love someone.

love is a 60/40 relationship where each person tries to be the 60%

omg this is exactly it. In my experience people don't believe in love anymore, many people cheat because they assume their partner is cheating anyway. It's really pathetic.

I think it’s very interesting that you chose Leonardo DiCaprio’s role in this movie (which I don’t know lol) as an example of hyperreal or reality-detached love. Leonardo DiCaprio is almost like the perfect example for this concept as most of his romantic roles show him as the perfect man who will always stick beside his love; when in actuality, he will dump her at 25. I know it’s a tired joke, but, it does relate to the subtopic of not being able to compare the love you do or don’t have to hyperreal examples.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Nothing is worse than getting in a relationship where you can't communicate with your partner. Talking isn't communication. If you're only talking and not listening, then you're not communicating. Hope this makes things more clear. You have to listen and be patient with one another.

My fave quote about being in love. "I love you not only for who you are but for who I am when I am with you"

"you can't be a good piano player by only playing when you feel like it" felt like a slap on my face