Most marriages don't end because of one big catastrophic moment. They end because of a thousand tiny mistakes that went unnoticed. And according to today's guest, one of the world's top divorce attorneys, you're probably already making them. Mel calls this the most important relationship conversation she has ever had on this podcast. And after years of hosting, that is not something she says lightly. Today's guest is James Sexton, a world-renowned authority on relationships, but coming from a perspective you may not expect. He's the author of the bestselling book How to Stay in Love. But he's also one of the top divorce attorneys in the world, which means for decades he's had a front-row seat to what makes marriages thrive – and the exact reasons why they fall apart. He's going to show you that most breakups don't happen because of something catastrophic. They result from small, accumulated mistakes that everyone misses – until it's too late. And unlike most relationship advice you'll hear, his isn't theoretical. It's built on what he's seen thousands of couples do when it's working… and when it's not. You'll learn: -Why most marriages are quietly in trouble long before anyone realizes it, and the warning signs to look for right now -How you can save (or strengthen) any marriage in 10 minutes a week -The #1 cause of infidelity (it's not what you think) – and why social media is now the single greatest threat to your relationship -The 3 questions you should be asking your partner every week -How to tell if your marriage is over -The real reason relationships and marriages fail -How to argue in a productive way -How to tell if you're in the wrong relationship -The habits of all successful relationships If you're single, this is what sets the foundation for a healthy relationship. If you're in a relationship, this is what allows it to deepen, strengthen, and evolve with you. If you're suffering from a breakup or a divorce, this will not only make you believe in love again, but it will also give you the road map to create it. This is one of the most important conversations that has been had on this podcast to date. Mel cannot wait for you and everybody that you love or have loved to experience it. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-375/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast In this episode: 00:00 Meet The Guest 6:20 The Reason Relationships and Marriages Fail 9:15 What You Need To Know Before Getting Married 14:04 How You Can Save (Or Strengthen) Any Marriage in 10 Minutes a Week 28:22 Why People Cheat (The Real Causes of Infidelity) 32:37 The Impact of Social Media on Relationships and Infidelity 40:17 Reignite Connection in a Long-Term Relationship (Small Fixes That Work) 52:41 Warning Signs You’re Headed for a Breakup or Divorce 56:49 How to Argue in a Productive Way 1:11:15 The #1 Way to Save a Marriage — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
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After 28 years of marriage, my husband said to me last night, "If we were dating, I would choose you all over again". Heart melt! Luckiest girl here!!
Most relationships don’t collapse from one big moment. They slowly drift apart from small habits repeated over time.
My parents have been married since 1960 - over 60 years ago. They still hold hands, kiss, and talk about their wedding day with tears in their eyes. My dad looks at my mom with so much love. I don’t take it for granted for one moment. What a gift.
This conversation was everything I needed to hear. It confirmed so much of what I've been learning from book Hollow Intimacy, that love isn't just a feeling, it's a practice. That the distance in marriage doesn't happen overnight. That we have to find ourselves before we can truly connect with someone else. If this conversation opened your eyes, read that book.
This guy is way more than a lawyer…he is such a gift.
I’ve watched James in so many podcasts and yet he still stops me in my tracks. One of the most articulate, attractive, insightful, emotionally intelligent men I’ve come across. Thank you.
I'm in 45 minutes and all I can think is, why isn't he a marriage counselor?
Wow, Mr. Sexton is a very emotionally intelligent man. He knows his stuff. Extremely insightful, one of the best you’ve had on your show.
I am 30 years old and still not married. I graduated from university and now I am studying for my master’s degree. I still believe that one day I will meet the right person and find my happiness. However, in my country many people think that 30 is already late for marriage. Almost every time I meet someone or talk to people, they ask me the same question: “You’re still not married? Why?” They say it with surprise, and honestly it makes me feel a lot of pressure. Sometimes it feels difficult, but I try to stay patient and keep believing that everyone has their own time in life. Mel Robbins, I often listen to your podcasts and they truly inspire me. Your words give people hope and strength. I am one of your followers from Uzbekistan, and I just wanted to thank you for the motivation and positivity you share with the world. I wish you continued success and happiness
I remember when my partner and I were just a fling, I looked at him and said, "You're my favorite human." And his eyes melted. I still remember how touched he looked when I said that. We leave Love Notes for each other and regularly show gratitude and affection
From a 52 yo woman who's never been married or in love yet, this was an amazing podcast. Great advice! Top bloke ❤
You can’t cheat on your partner and expect it to last. Even if your partner doesn’t know, they feel that underlying tension. And that causes arguments and creates a lot of bad juju lol
He is so animated, articulate, and authentic. He really understands. So beautiful. ❤
I am a grey divorcee and am so happy to be free. We worked on our relationship for decades. This resonates and applies except when you are married to a covert (passive aggressive) narcissist!
My spouse used to be my favorite person....until I discovered all the deception, lies and the hidden person. I will never understand why people can't just say they are unhappy and want out. They have to cause devastation and so much pain. I thought we shared a love that was incredible, boy what a fool I was. He says nothing else has taken place in our marriage, but my gut and instincts say otherwise . Im trying to find the courage I used to have to start a divorce and uproot 2 kids. Its true.....when trust is gone there is nothing left.
34 years of a beautiful marriage between mutual “favorite persons” has recently been broken by multiple acts of infidelity… Im sure this sounds ridiculous but we are still best friends…We love each other but… I wish I had heard this podcast years ago … He’s in therapy and I know he loves me… but I cannot find my way back to TRUSTING him… maybe if we both had these marriage tips many years ago we wouldn’t be where we are today. This should be a mandatory listen before saying “I Do”!!
Every time this man comes across my algorithm, I’m watching. Something about him just draws me.
Love this episode ❤ i passed the test, I sent my husband a message of 10 things I love about him, it wasn't to difficult, and trust me! we are in a repair period at the moment of 36 years of marraige, thankyou both x
Grown man here. I cried a few times listening. ❤
I hope to remember this. Write a letter you wanted to say to them and write the letter back to you with what you needed to hear. This is healing on many many levels.