https://youtu.be/DVyv3GPRJm0 Sometimes it can be so difficult to tell if you're stuck in an unhealthy relationship, this video will give you 5 signs to watch out for that you might actually be in a Trauma Bond with someone. If you ever want to support my work https://bit.ly/3FWA1Ez #narcissist #trauma #codependency
ADVERTISEMENT
It’s a trauma bond when you feel worse after interacting with them. When you’re doubting yourself and seeking their validation. When you can’t think for yourself or make decisions on your own. And when you’re isolated and they’ve somehow become your only source of influence. This is about control.
"They" wanted the relationship to work as long as I was the one doing the work and the changing.
1. You take all the responsibility for the relationship and always try to fix things, while your partner shows no self-reflection or accountability. 2. Your self-esteem and self-perception are destroyed by constant gaslighting, blame, and devaluation. 3. You carry all the responsibility for the relationship and find yourself justifying your partner’s behavior to others. 4. There is a clear double standard: you would never treat your partner the way they treat you. 5. It feels impossible to leave the relationship, even though staying is damaging you (you feel addicted to the highs and lows).
"I don't care if they had rough childhood. We all had rough childhoods, but we can't let our past trauma control us." I felt that keenly.
A trauma bond feels like love until you realize you're constantly anxious, doubting yourself, and walking on eggshells. It's not connection—it's survival.
When you feel addicted to them but also feel alone is a good sign of a trauma bond. A healthy relationship doesn’t make you feel alone and desperate for their presence.
I did it!! It's over! I can breath and omg have I missed me....
One of the most confusing things is when the person has good qualities, can be empathetic and caring, and expresses love from time to time. That can make us think they'll turn a corner and things could become good...if we could just stop angering them or they could treat us better. Don't waste your precious time.
Please pray for me. Married to a narcissist wife for 25 years and struggling. I’m in the middle of a separation and starting over now in my 60s. I’m glad to be out from under her thumb but the silence of an empty house is heartbreaking.
The no test really works. If you cant say no then you are in a controlling relationship. Your body will suffer.
“It’s not your job to teach someone how to be a mature, healthy adult.” 15:04
this shit hurts so bad. good luck everyone. I'm rooting for you. Please root for me. Thank you Jimmy for addressing that it's normal to feel bad and panic.
"They can be respectful when it benefits them." I'm repeating this in my head over and over.
I swear this dude knows every detail of me without even knowing I exist.
"You didn't have a problem with it before!" "No, I did have a problem with it, I just didn't feel safe enough to bring it up."
"the miss-treatment/abuse is infrequent enough to keep us confused in present and also hopeful for the future" this sentence is very accurate and descriptive, it shook me. Thanks so much
"It feels impossible to leave, but staying is killing you".. that was my first marriage in a nutshell.
Jimmy, you don't know how much you have touched my heart today. I'm going to call the domestic abuse hotline. You are so right about that I'm already alone and nothing could be worse than the life I have here. Everything you said here is my life.
“I don’t need you in my life, but I want you in my life” is my favorite thing to think about with healthy relationships
“They didnt go through the pain with you. They caused the pain” 6:30